It Has Been Foretold

And it has been foretold:

"Liars and thieves,
will have big big moles,
will have nasty teeth, have shorter legs
and will never grow tall."

DIOSDADO MACAPAGAL,
Fifth President of the Republic of the Philippines

Legacy of Sen. Trillanes IV

Aside from his failed coup attempts (emphasis on the plurality), one of the legacies that Sen. Trillanes IV had accomplished and will be written in Philippine history is his "Food Distribution Program".

Can I have a toothpick please... *Buuuurrrrrrpppppppp* Oh it is so nice to rub a full stomach. *Buuuurrrrrrpppppppp* Ahmmm, what is his name again?

Starved

Trillanes: Sir, I will deliver a privilege speech at the Senate on Monday, I decided to discuss extensively about the issue on "Mass Starvation". Can you please help me with this one, Sir. I believe with your age and experience you can share lots of information to me and to the Filipinos.

Erap: Sure, you came to the right place. My personal experience on the subject is extensive and my stay in prison further boosts my knowledge on that. You won’t regret it. Ok just come back on Sunday, leave everything to me. Consider it done.

After the privilege speech, Trillanes went back to Erap with unexplained look at his face.

Erap: What is the matter? You look so upset, angry and frustrated. Meantime, how is your privilege speech? Did they like my 100-page discussion on "Masturbation"?

Global Cooling

Trillanes escaped from prison and decided to go north at the Mountain Province, incidentally the tribal chief of the igorots just died. Trillanes assumed the role of temporary leader.

The temperature is dropping, igorots asked Trillanes in his capacity as new leader what he thinks about the coming weeks. Trillanes trying to pretend he is knowledgable on the subject advised the igorots to gather firewoods as he believes the temperature will further drop. On second thought, Trillanes feels it is best to consult this matter with other knowledgable persons and decided to secretly contact Erap.

Trillanes: Sir, I am here at the Mountain Province, what is the news with our weather bureau in Manila for the Mountain Province? Do you think it will continue to get cold here?

Erap: I am pretty sure yes it is going to be cold there at Mountain Province as per the bulletin released by our weather bureau.

Trillanes upon getting assured of the colder weather ahead, went back to the tribe and advised the igorots to double their effort gathering firewoods. Then he contacted again Erap.

Trillanes: Sir do you really think it will be cold weeks ahead here?
Erap: Yes, as a matter of fact our weather bureau made an advisory on travelling to Mountain Province due to the impending cold season.

Trillanes went back to the tribes people and confidently instruct everyone to collect more firewoods. Thereafter again he contacted Erap.

Trillanes: Sir is there a change on the weather report for Mountain Province?
Erap: It is really amazing, our weather bureau is very positive that the temperature will further drop in the coming weeks at your place.

Trillanes getting a thrilled receiving that information from Erap, hurriedly went back and gathered all tribes people. He confidently declared to the people: "My igorot brothers, let the women, even the old and the youngs collect every scap of firewood as it is going to be a very very cold season ahead".

And the igorots went on panic collecting firewoods.

Trillanes for the last time contacted Erap: "Sir thanks for the information on the weather forecast here, it gave me confidence and helped me seal my leadership role"

Erap: Absolutely no problem, however I might advise you to transfer to another location, as according to our weather bureau, it seems it would really really get cold in the Mountain Province they are taking into account and monitoring the activities of the igorots there panicking and going crazy collecting firewoods - and that is the basis of our weather bureau's forecast!...

That Manila Pen Incident

Crucial Moments, Manila Pen, 29 November 2007.
Sen. Trillanes wiretapped conversation with Ex-Pres Joseph Estrada.
----------------------------------------------------------

Trillanes: Mr. President (Erap), can you please advise your location please, we had been waiting for you for quite a moment already. Government troops had arrive. We had been given a deadline.

Erap: Nonsense, do not mind that deadline. Approach the media, make a statement that nothing will happen after the deadline expires.

(After few more hours)

Trillanes: Sir, your location please, the deadline had expired, no supporters are heeding our call. We need you badly here at Manila Pen.

Erap: Damn I am very frustrated and annoyed, Ived been circling the entire City of Manila, and still can not find that fuckin' Manila Pen.

Trillanes: Sir it is located here at Ayala Ave. corner Makati Ave., near Glorieta.

Erap: (Scratching his head) Whaaaat?! You imbecile, should you had told me rightaway it is "Makati Pen", I should looked for it at the City of Makati, you idiot. OK, I will be right there.

(Gunshots fired, APC entered hotel lobby)

Trillanes: (Perspiring heavily) Sir, sir, government forces are already inside the hotel... Do not proceed here in Makati anymore. We will surrender, we will surrender. hu hu hu (sobs).

This Is Where Your Revolutionary Taxes Go

This is where your revolutionary taxes go.

Communications: (friendster, Yahoo chat, edsapolitics.blogspot.com)

Infrastructure: (e.g. basketball court - communist style)

Entertainment: (with guest like her, who needs viagra)

Let's Go Na With Guingona

I can vividly recall during my childhood years (or was it my teen years) the catchy tune of Guingona's campaign jingle for a Senatorial race, never to expect he would soon become one of the lamest politician in Philippine history.




Go home na. Please.

King of the Masses

And it reads:

Idol of the Filipino Community
Introducing: The King of the Masses

VER BULANON

Composer Singer

With a voice that resembles
Victor Wood
Eddie Peregrina
Freddie Aguilar
Father & Son
Hot Babes
Imelda Papin

Perfect Gift for the New Year 2007

And if you are still clueless on that this is about. Brace to your seat, he is an aspirant for a Philippine elections on May 2007, sending his feelers this early.

Caught With His Pants Down

One of the most celebrated government enemy (coup plotter) in the Philippine history and a duly elected Senator as well, caught with this mugshot.

Honasan, 58, sustained a deep cut in his right foot and a sprain in his left foot after he tried to elude arrest by jumping off from the second floor of the townhouse reportedly owned by a certain Ingrid Ramos in Green Meadows, a GMA Network radio dzBB report said.

Kiss, Lick and Suck

To those who are still naive, this best illustrates an organization's 'chain-of-command'. If this is the case, I am fortunate enough having my own barbershop, thus on a higher ground on this 'food-chain', I only need to 'kiss' the hands of my customers.

While there are below me licking my boots and sucking my ass.

How about you? Where do you belong?

Offspring

Philippine President Arroyo (Gloria) with ex-President Estrada (Erap):
Erap: Madam President, how did you managed to maintain your seat in this Government despite the tremendous political crisis you encountered the past several years.

Gloria: That is quite simple Mr. ex-President, I make it sure that only the best people are around me.

Erap: I did that before, of course I would also want to have the best minds around me. However, how would you know if a particular person is intelligent?

Gloria: Very simple, I ask them direct question (got her mobile phone and dialed a number, thereafter placed the conversation on speaker-phone). Ah hello ‘Kabayan’ (Vice President Noli de Castro), I have a question… Your mother has an offspring, your father has an offspring, though this offspring is not your sibling. Who is this person?

Noli: It is a very simple question Madam President, the person you are referring is obviously me.

Gloria: Thank you very much ‘Kabayan’ (hangs the phone), see Mr. ex-President I only choose the best.

Erap: You are definitely brilliant, I will employ the same technique within my group.

After a week.
Erap: Son (Senator Jinggoy Estrada), I have a very important question. Your mother has an offspring, your father has an offspring, though this offspring is not your sibling. Who is this person?

Jingoy: Dad?! Will you allow me to investigate?

After a day.
Jingoy: Mommy (Senator Loi Estrada), Daddy asked me a question… Do you know who this person is?

Loi: Sorry Jingoy, your father has not told me about this yet. Please call Congressman Allan Cayetano and let us have an emergency meeting.

After an hour.
Allan: With all due respect sir and madam, we are clueless.

Meantime, former Senator Loren Legarda arrived.
Allan: Senator Legarda, perhaps you know the answer on this question. Your mother has an offspring, your father has an offspring, though this offspring is not your sibling. Who is this person?

Loren: Oh that is very easy.

Everyone in the room with mouth open.
Loren: It is me and no one else.

Everyone in the room took a deep breath and had a sigh of relief.
Jingoy: Thank you very much, Senator Legarda.

With answer on his mind, Senator Jingoy Estrada rushed to see ex-President Estrada.
Jingoy: Daddy, you will be proud of me, I know now the answer. The person you are referring to is Senator Legarda and no one else.

Erap (fuming mad): You bunch of stupid fools, this is the reason I got booted out of the Malacanang Palace. The person I am referring is not Loren. The correct answer is obviously Kabayan Noli de Castro.

Plunder Blunder

Erap found an old lamp within the premises at his detention camp in Tanay Rizal. He decided to bring it along with him in Manila while attending his trial for plunder - wishing it is for good luck.

Trial will start at 3:00 PM, he arrived at 2:30 PM.

Erap: Atty. Mendoza, Atty. Saguisag, come quick... I found an old lamp in Tanay... let us all rub it for goodluck.

The two lawyers curiously went to Erap to rub the old lamp. Suddenly... *puff* A Genie appeared.

Genie: Three wishes... hmm, wait you are three so one wish each.

Mendoza: (Very excited) Meee firsht, mhe firsht *hik*... I whant toh rhetire onh a prihvate island *hik* and an endlesh shupply of bheer.

*puff* Mendoza disappeared.

Saguisag: Me next... I also want to retire, on a big big ranch farm to raise female cows and female horses. And I want to ride them all. Yum yum.

*puff* Saguisag disappeared.

Erap: (Uncomfortably looking at his wristwatch - it is almost three) Genie!!! I want those two imbeciles return here immediately! And never ever let them leave me again, I need both of them badly for my defense.

*puff* the two lawyers re-appeared.

Big Four

There are four buddies in high school, but were separated when they pursued their university studies. One (Juan) got scholarship at the University of the Philippines, another (Athena) went to Ateneo de Manila University, the third (Cheng) after failing both in UP and AdMU went to De La Salle University, and the fourth of the buddies (Tomas) just decided to study at the University of Santo Tomas.

One rainy Monday morning Juan, Athena and Cheng got excited to see each other riding an FX (a public utility vehicle). Cheng breaks the ice.

Cheng: Well... I am riding this FX, not because I want to but because our family car that I am using was borrowed by my younger sister. How about you Juan, long time no see.

Juan: Ah... I am used to ride public transport, as a matter of fact I usually commute on the jeepney and bus, it is raining today so I decided to have this FX instead. By the way Athena, nice to see you with us here.

Athena: Hmm... my BMW is color-coded today (banned), while our family car is at the workshop for maintenance. I wish Tomas is with us at this time, I miss him. So Cheng where are your working now?

Cheng: I got employed at my mommy's company, though the salary is not that great but it is the work experience that matters. How about you?

Athena: I established my own company, still struggling but getting better. And you Juan?

Juan: Being a scholar, I need to repay the Philippine Government by working for them at least for 4 years. So I am currently working on a Government institution. I wonder where is Tomas now.

Suddenly a voice from the driver's seat.

Driver: Ladies and gentleman, we are approaching our destination please do not forget to pay your fare.

Juan, Cheng, and Athena (in chorus): Tomas!!!

Money!

How I wish I have lots of money, that I own the dollars our President is holding. I will buy a hummer, a yatch, vacation house by the beach in Palawan, I will hire the services of Dra. Vicky Bello for a facial service and liposuction perhaps.

Most definitely if the money is mine, the smile in my lips can reach up to my ears both side.

27th US President

Picture of Governor-General William Howard Taft (who later became the 27th President of the United States of America 1909-1913), riding a water buffalo (Philippine carabao) most probably just having a photo souvenir (I dont think the carabao can accommodate his weight for half hour nor move having him at its back a couple of blocks).

Jasmine's Glory

Too bad that my blog entries are being posted with newest on top, it should have created a drama if the picture of smiling President Arroyo is posted below my blog on ex-President Estrada. Anyhow, see how cute both Jasmine and GMA are.

A sweet jasmine scent and a stinky blue monster (of course I am referring to the inset this time).

Estrada (Off-camera) On-Camera

This is one of my all-time favorite photo-capture of a political figure - mugshot of a duly elected Philippine President.

Classic. Hey my fellow Filipino politicians, look at the picture whisphering: "This could happen to you!", "You are next!", "Don't mess with the taxpayer's money!".

Or perhaps, just let (and advice) your 'senators' to alllow open the 'envelope' and don't ever 'flee and cross the Pasig river'.

About Me: Ed Politico

Hi there. My name is Ed, and I am maintaining this blogsite.

I named this blogsite "edsapolitics" coinciding to my name "Ed San Antonio Politico", where Ed is my first name, SA is my middle name, and Politico my family name - thus "EdSAPolitics".

EDSA meantime is actually an acronym of a major thouroughfare in Manila, the "Efipanio Delos Santos Avenue". EDSA will be forever part of the Philippine contemporary history for this had been twice the venue of "People Power" revolution that took place in 1986 (overthrowing President Marcos) and in 2001 (overthrowing President Estrada), now referred to as EDSA 1 and EDSA 2 respectively.

EDSA had been a venue of similar attempts to overthrow other regimes such as of President Aquino and of President Arroyo (while it has been unsucessful, same intense and passion has been displayed), marking our own Philippine brand of democracy.

While I am a blogger, I am a professional barber as well. If without customer and if not playing 'dama' nor on a drinking session, we always discuss politics and showbusiness at the barbershop. I am not interested and comfortable though to include here the latest gossips in Philippine showbiz, thus will limit my blog to politics (in the Philippines it is however difficult to avoid intermingling showbiz and politics - as both are with entertainment value, and good for wasting time).

Happy reading.